Monday, May 30, 2011

My Crowning!

With all the hype over the royal wedding, I realized that I myself recently got a crown all my own.  Rather than opt for diamonds or for gold, or anything else a rapper might think is a sign of his wealth, I picked out the most beautiful pearl on earth.  That's right!  This fairytale lacks a horsedrawn carriage, a title, mobs of well wishers, and of course a prince.  This story is more in the realm of a tooth fairy.

My tooth fairy comes in the form of a new, young dentist who just isn't someone you really want checking out your teeth.  Routine check up = fail.  Not only did I need a filling, but I also needed none other than a pearly crown.  For me, this was new territory.  All I could think is that I'll be getting my tooth drilled off and replaced with a fake jewel! 

Now that I was already a little rattled, I had to discuss my other problem with the dentist.  Apparently, as evidence proves all over my teeth, I am a grinder.  During my sleep, my teeth beat each other up, and when I wake up each and every day, they feel slightly different.  Yes slightly, itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, a hair, hardly, kind of, or any other way you want to put it they don't feel like my teeth.  So, each and every day my teeth annoy my tongue into thinking they are new.  So, I ask my dentist what my problem is, and he says he can't help me in that department.  Rather, this seems more like a mind game than an actual dental problem.  As for the actual teeth grinding I unknowingly do at night, I have some options.  A mouthguard is always an option, but I may just want to consider other ways to remedy the situation.  My sweet hygenist suggests a massage to destress while my dentist says I might just want to work out more!  So in an hour long dental appointment my dentist essentially said I was a fat crazy lady.  Lovely.

Now whether or not he meant what he said, I decided I wanted to take his words for face value.  I thought that maybe some strange man who has looked deep into my mouth might just motivate me to get off my behind and shed some pounds.  After all, I do have a medical condition, at least in my sleep. 

2 dentists appointments later, I have a fake tooth, some fillings, and low an behold on my thought to be last appointment for awhile, I need another crown.  Same exact spot on the opposite side of my face.  I guess liking symmetry is in my bones.  Hopefully, my bones also like skinny thighs and fake teeth.

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